One red-shinigami-ish salut to the all of you, my beloved stalkers.

Again I've been not activ on dA.. it's going on my nerves.
But it seems like all the free-time I've had is gone now.

[What's new?]
Autumn holidays are over since one week. They were nice but really exhausting, too.

[What did I do?]
I was going to the Frankfurt book fair. Really exhausting again. This is such a huge place. But I've meet alot of my friends and meet alot of new guys so I'm really happy that I've been there.
Even if there were some trouble-ish things, too...
But that's gone and forgotten. It was nice to see you all!

[What am I doing?]
Exactly yet I'm sitting at my table and beeing killed of boredom. /There are still some school-stuff things to do, though../
School starts to get very stressfull. Even if it's a really great school and alot of nice and kind class-mates (with some exceptions of course) I have.
Again I have some big troubles with the school-stuff. It's annoying..
But I have to go trough it.
..even if I don't know if I really want it? ..how difficult..lol.

Oh dear.. it's really lonely now, sometimes. But I'd learn to live with it. There's no other way.
I think about it this way:
It was beautiful. It was TRUELY beautiful! And I'm thankful for it. So thankful.. I wont forget it.
But what reason do I have to be depressed?
I've lost my love. I was sad about it.. in some moments I'm still sad about it.
Still I'm sure she was THE ONE. The only true on for me.

Oh.....I think I've never told her...how stupid.

But that's life. There are always things which will change or get lost in your life!
And so you should think about the things they are still with you. The people which are still with you and still love and care about you.
There's always someone.
"If you spend all of your life pushing aside love given to you on the off-chance that the person offering it might withdraw it, you will always feel cynical and unsure, which is not a comfortable or happy place to be." -> [link]
I'm also still thinking about her.. Very often. I don't want someone new yet. Actually YET my thoughts are that I dont want someone EVER again, but her!
But.. I know that's foolish.. Someday, somehow there will be the moment I'm meeting someone new.
And even if it's not the same. (It's NEVER the same!) Still I'm able to love and to be loved!
To find the things I'm looking for.
Sometime..

Let's go, my friend.
Shoulder to shoulder we'll find our very own and truely life and destiny.



________________________________________ _________
I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows
She´s on your mind
Everyone knows I´m in
Over my head
I´m in over my head
I´m over my

Everyone knows I´m in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
________________________________________ _________


Oh, my beauty one
where does your pretty smile has gone?

I'm thinking and clearly I remember
our first meet was within december.

Truely and for sure
I've never seen anything beautier than your
pretty, pretty eyes
within a colour like blue ice.

At first I couldn't understand
but always reaching for your hand
to hold me in your arm
against the coldest snow to keep me warm.

Oh, my beauty one
where has your warming smile gone?
[to be continued..]



The all of you..

Thank
you
for
every
word
and
your
help!

I like you.
I need you.
I LOVE you!


Finally.. only 3 days left now, till you're here!